Things You'll Never Hear ..... Say!!!
by Zelkiiro
Summary: Something I did for some fun. R&R, and Beware...
1. Default Chapter

Things You'll Never Hear …… Say!!!  
  
Disclaimer: I do NOT own Harry Potter!!! If I did, I'd be too rich to write for you LOSERS!!! DIE!!! BURN IN HELL AND DIE!!!! Enough about me…  
  
Harry: I absolutely NEVER want to go to Hogwarts EVER AGAIN!!!  
  
Hermione: Books just don't interest me, I prefer Wizard's Chess…  
  
Ron: I fully understand and respect my brothers!  
  
Snape: 5 Points to Gryffindor…  
  
Harry: I'm going to swear allegience to Voldemort! Who wants to join me?  
  
Hagrid: VOLDEMORT!!!!!!! (repeat several times for other wizards' hearing displeasure)  
  
Hagrid: Collecting rare animals is such a boring and pointless hobby…  
  
Malfoy: I love you, Harry!  
  
Harry: GET AWAY YOU SICK FREAK!!! *punch*  
  
Harry: Life is GREAT at my house! The Dursley's are WONDERFUL people!!!  
  
Vernon (Harry's uncle for all of you who don't know/care): DUDLEY! GO TO YOUR ROOM!!!!  
  
Snape: Harry Potter is my star student! He is a wonderful student to have in my Herbology class. (Yep, you'll never hear that)  
  
Dumbledore: HOGWARTS MUST BURN!!! DESTROY THIS MADHOUSE!!!  
  
Harry: I don't know my parents and I DON'T REALLY CARE!!! *flips the middle at Dumbledore* (None of us will ever see such brilliant…something…)  
  
Harry: (after getting the Philosopher's Stone) HAHAHAHA!! IT'S MINE!!! *touches all local metals and runs like a girl*  
  
Ron: My family is planning on buying Hogwarts, all the surrounding land, AND the train station connected to it!  
  
Harry: *shrugs* Well, your parents DO have the money…  
  
Hermione: *grabs Harry* Hurry! Make hot, sweet love to me! (Fortunately, this will never happen…)  
  
Voldemort: *hugs Harry* I love you…I'm sorry I killed your parents *begins to sob* I don't know what was going through my MIND! WHY?! WHY DID I HAVE TO KILL THEM?!? (Etc., Etc…)  
  
Wood: I never did like Quidditch, It's such a stupid game anyway…  
  
Neville: Oh! I remember now!  
  
Sorting Hat: Draco Malfoy, eh? GRYFFINDOR! (scary thought, ain't it?)  
  
Fred: We have decided to quit our lives of making other people suffer…  
  
George: We want to help all of mankind in any way that we possibly can…  
  
AND…THE GRAND FINALE!!!  
  
Hermione: *stares into space with a wad of drool hanging from her mouth*  
  
And there you have it! I may just make a Chapter 2 when I decide I FEEL LIKE WRITING TO YOU SELFISH INGRATES!!! YOU NEVER APPRECIATE ANYTHING!!!! GAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!  
  
The End. 


	2. THIS ONE'S FOR NESTOR!

Things You'll Never Hear .. Say Part 2: Return from the Couch BECAUSE YOU WANTED IT...YOU ASKED FOR IT...  
  
I is back. I am off the couch. I am not thinking in an intelligent manner, so that means fanficcy goodness for you all.  
  
Disclaimer (if I forgot it): I do not own Harry Potter or any other thing I may include in this insanity.  
  
VOLDEMORT: (sings) "Love (love love) LOVE, makes the WORLD GO 'ROUND!!"  
  
HARRY: "Oh, I know what a (insert strange term here) is!"  
  
VIKTOR KRUM: "Hermione." ( He could never pronounce it right.  
  
SNAPE: "Five points from Slytherin."  
  
VOLDEMORT: "Sunshine.on my shoulders.makes me happy."( Voldemort fun. He is the easiest to come up with stuff. Anyway.moving on.  
  
GILDEROY LOCKHART: I can't believe how hideous I am! I'll never show my face in public again!!!  
  
MAD-EYE MOODY: BLARG!!! I can't see a thing!!  
  
LUPIN: Please get out your books and turn to page 14.  
  
DUMBLEDORE: Voldemort? Who's that? And what about 1945? I killed a great warlock?! You, sir, are a LIAR!!  
  
VOLDEMORT: (sings) Muggles are great. Muggles are good. I love Muggles in my neighborhood!  
  
AUNT PETUNIA: And this is my son, Harry. He makes our family PROUD to have him as our son!!  
  
MALFOY: AAAHHHH!!! IT'S KILLED ME!!! THE FLABBERWORM'S KILLED ME!!!!! (heh heh heh...)  
  
And this chapter's finale.  
  
VOLDEMORT: If we keep a sense of justice in our hearts, we can overcome anything! We can create miracles through the power of JUSTICE!!!!  
Sorry if this chapter was a little short, but my mind froze at the WRONG TIME!!! Please, DO expect a Chapter 3 sometime later in the year (yes, I'm that slow).  
  
END 


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